


Hogwartsland.

by orange_crushed



Series: The Masterverse [5]
Category: Doctor Who
Genre: AU, Crack, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-16
Updated: 2011-04-16
Packaged: 2017-10-18 03:33:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/184534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orange_crushed/pseuds/orange_crushed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Well," he'd said, wet and unrepentant in a pair of Slytherin-print swim trunks. "Nobody's perfect."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hogwartsland.

They'd done the waterpark first; there were slides from one of the castle towers all the way down to the man-made lake, and animatronic thestrals to bring you back up again. The Master had tried to ride one to the control room and take command of the mermaid pond, but he'd gotten a vigorous ducking from Security for that.

"Well," he'd said, wet and unrepentant in a pair of Slytherin-print swim trunks. "Nobody's perfect."

On the whole, it'd been fifty credits (each) well-spent. The details were amazing, and the model castle itself was a maze of passages and talking audiovisual displays and holographic portraits and there was really an old man dressed up as Dumbledore wandering the halls. Rose knew that for certain; the Master had found him and tried to pick his pockets ("Full of _candy_ ," he'd reported, with disgust) and the Doctor had asked for an autograph.

"I've already got Snape to sign it," he said, flipping the pages. "And McGonagall and Madame Pomfrey and Professor Flitwick-"

"Yes, that's nice," said Rose, wondering when she'd committed herself to having sex with a man who could remember the middle name of every Weasley. Her mother's advice had not extended this far.

"What shall we do next ?" The Doctor unfolded the map, hands practically trembling with glee. Well, it wasn't truly glee, it was sugar; plain sugar with a bit of food coloring, pressed in the shape of a school crest. He'd inhaled it while standing in line and it was affecting his nervous system. "Lunch at the Hog's Head ? Ride the Basilisk- ooh, the system's longest coaster. Potions lesson ? You could get fitted for robes." He glanced down at his own embroidered robes and matching tie, then back up at Rose hopefully. "They're really very comfortable."

"We should leave the Hufflepuff here and find some real action," said the Master, missing the delicious absurdity of the statement. "I saw a pub. Let's get drunk," he stage-whispered. Rose looked at them both; the Doctor with his official replica Sorting Hat perched on top of his head, and the Master holding a plastic Nimbus 2000 in front of a sign that said HAGRID'S HUT and then RESTROOMS in a smaller font just beneath that. Rose thought several things, none of which she uttered.

"I'd like a pumpkin juice," she said. The Doctor beamed at her. The Master scowled.

"Typical Gryffindor," he said.


End file.
